I don't like him.

I've stated this many times, yet I still try and interact with him and start conversations. But time and time again he just ignores me or gives me short, curt answers and does not even try.

So why do you insist he's a great person?

C is now dating him and so I tried again but he, once again, ignored me or gave shit answers to end all discussion. Even C gave me a look when he did it to indicate she realized what happen. Like I cannot win with him. Yet, she wants this to continue and she tries to hard to get me to socialize with him. Why should I socialize with a person who clearly does not want to talk to me?

Like he goes out of his way to ignore me or to be an ass. Also, he sat there and told me an Associate's degree is not a really degree. And he went on and on about his "Arts Degree" which I learned isn't even that. He got a Fine Art's Degree which is not the same as what he spouted he had. Like how dare he belittle my education. Like that's not even trying to be sociable. But no, it's me who does not try.

You didn't really try and convince me to change my mind. Yes, you asked me to go with you guys to dinner and when I said I had no money (because you said you didn't have any either but more than likely he's going to pay for you) you told me to come and just sit with you guys. Like how inconsiderate is that? And then you said, at least come back and decorate pumpkins with us. I said, no thanks, you didn't even bat a lid, like okay, let's not wait two weeks before seeing each other again. Like thanks, more than likely you'll be with him or Je and I don't mind but I'm always the tagalong option and I cannot stand that. Yet like I told J I don't want to give up this friendship because I don't have anything else to busy myself with. Like when you want to quit a job, you try and find one to switch to before quitting the current job. I need that with friendships too. I need a support or job or something to fall back on to fill the void that is you.

But this also could do with my mental state lately. I'm in a bad place. But it's fine. The only one that truly needs to suffer is me. And I shouldn't have lashed out or burdened J with my issues. So I'll distance myself from him as well. I didn't text him or call him back after that call the other night because I didn't want to hear from him about how shitty I am. I know he wouldn't say that but I feel that way and that is all the excuse I need not talk to him. I even avoided posting on Tumblr because of it. But I'll get over myself eventually.

Until then.

May your Pumpkins carve with delight.
B