So this one will be quick. I'm about to go on the shortest road trip of my life. To Amarillo, Texas and back in 2 days. The trip is an 8-hour drive to and then 8 hours back. So 16 total. So out of the less than 48 hours about a third of it will be driving. I'm okay with this. It's for a good reason and it's a friend I'm hoping will either help cement our friendship or let me know that I probably need to start keeping my distance.

Let's call her C. C is caring and kind but also cares mostly about herself. This isn't inherently bad but there are times I feel as though she isn't hearing me and when she and her roommate have this issue she tends to argue a lot and blame the roommate for doing the same thing she does to me. Rather hypocritical but again it's not the end of the world.

But the part that is causing my doubt, is when I feel guilty for not caving into her demands, like going out with people I do not like and when I try to explain to her, she tells me I just don't know them. The only problem is they give horrible third and fourth impressions to lock in the already crappy first and second impressions. I have tried but I cannot seem to get myself to like them and when I express this she just gives excuses. This bothers me because it feels like she is telling me my feelings are not valid because of whatever excuse of the month. This bothers me because then it makes me feel guilty cause it's like I'm not trying, which is not true. If anything I try too much and some points she just doesn't invite me because "you never want to go or you don't like these people so I figured you wouldn't enjoy yourself". Which is just another way to throw my feelings back at myself and this makes me feel bad. But she had heart and does a lot for me. So I'm hoping maybe I'm just too sensitive as many people have told me.

Either way, I need to clean my room, finish my laundry, and do whatever homework is due Tuesday to prepare. Wish me luck.

May the Fall leaves tickle your soul,
B